Support Healthy Eating Habits: A Division of Responsibility Approach to Feeding
The Division of Responsibility (DOR) model, created by Ellyn Satter, is a gentle approach to mealtimes that helps children learn to trust their own hunger and fullness cues. This method creates a balance of responsibilities: parents decide what, when, and where food is offered, while children choose how much they want to eat and whether they’ll eat at all.
Why Consider This Approach?
Every family’s mealtime is unique, and the DOR model can be adapted to fit any routine, from breakfast to snack time to dinner. By allowing children to make their own eating decisions, parents create a positive experience that helps kids feel confident and secure. Regular family meals also support healthy habits. Research shows that when families eat together more often, they tend to eat more fruits and vegetables and fewer fried foods and sugary drinks.
Beyond the food itself, family meals are a special time to connect and bond. A steady routine around meals can help children feel secure, loved, and more at ease.
How to Gently Introduce This Method
Children are still learning about their senses, including taste, so mealtimes offer a wonderful opportunity to support healthy eating habits that last a lifetime. To get started, try serving a mix of new foods alongside familiar favorites. This approach lets your child make choices within gentle boundaries.
Here are some simple ways to begin:
- Offer a variety of healthy foods at set times in a calm, distraction-free space.
- Allow your child to choose what they would like to eat from what is served and how much they want.
- Start with smaller portions and let your child decide if they’d like more or are finished. Trusting their cues helps them learn to recognize when they’re hungry or full, and it takes the pressure off you to manage every bite.
As kids grow, they may share more opinions on what they’d like to eat. Encourage this by involving them in meal planning or even letting them help prepare a meal. This builds their confidence and allows them to practice making choices in a supportive environment.
Gentle mealtime tips:
- Create a Calm Atmosphere: Try to keep the mealtime environment relaxed and unhurried. Avoid rushing through meals or using them as a time to discuss stressful topics. This helps children associate eating with positive, comforting feelings.
- Stick to a Routine: Consistent mealtimes can create a sense of security for children. When they know what to expect, they’re more likely to feel comfortable and willing to try different foods.
- Encourage Exploration: Let your child touch, smell, and explore new foods without pressure to eat them. Sometimes, just playing with a piece of broccoli or smelling a new dish is a step toward tasting it.
- Avoid Bribing or Forcing: Try not to push your child to take “one more bite” or finish their plate. Instead, trust that they will eat enough for their body’s needs when allowed to listen to their own hunger and fullness signals.
- Make It Interactive: Involve your child in simple tasks like setting the table, helping choose what’s on the menu, or preparing parts of the meal. This engagement can make them more excited about eating.
- Praise Efforts, Not Amounts: Celebrate your child’s willingness to try new things or participate, even if they don’t eat much. Say things like, “I love how you tried that new food!” rather than focusing on whether they ate enough.
- Model Positive Talk: Use kind and encouraging words about food. For example, talk about the colors, textures, and flavors of different foods instead of labeling them as “good” or “bad.”
- Keep Portions Kid-Sized: Start with small servings to avoid overwhelming your child. They can always ask for more if they’re still hungry.
- Serve Family-Style Meals: Let your child serve themselves from shared dishes at the table. This gives them control over what and how much they put on their plate, empowering them to make choices.
- Let Hunger Lead: It’s okay if your child isn’t hungry at mealtime. Respect their decision and remind them that the next meal or snack will be at a certain time. This helps establish boundaries without pressure.
- Be Patient with Preferences: It’s normal for kids to go through phases of liking and disliking certain foods. Continue offering a variety of foods without making a big deal out of what they do or don’t eat.
- Make Meals Pleasant: Focus on conversations and laughter during meals rather than turning them into a battle over food. Talking about the day or sharing stories can create positive associations with mealtime.
- Limit Distractions: Turn off screens and put away toys during meals so that your child can focus on eating and connecting with the family.
- Show Understanding: If your child says they’re not hungry or doesn’t want to eat, acknowledge their feelings calmly. Say, “That’s okay, you can listen to your body,” and let them know when the next meal or snack will be.
- Offer Choices Within Limits: Present choices that guide your child but give them a sense of control. For instance, “Would you like carrots or cucumbers?” helps them make decisions but ensures they’re still choosing healthy options.
These gentle tips can help make mealtimes a nurturing, low-pressure experience that supports your child’s healthy relationship with food. Remember, when parents and children each have their role in mealtimes, it helps build a positive relationship with food. With time and trust, children will learn to follow their own hunger and fullness cues and make healthy choices that work for them.
