A Brain Balance Approach to Calm your Child and Promote the Development of Self-Regulation

Supporting children’s brain development plays a huge role in their ability to self-regulate, learn, and manage emotions. As adults, we tend to expect kids to know how to “act” and control themselves. As a culture, we have gotten away from activities that focus on brain development in the correct order from a neurological perspective. With the advances in technology, early emphasis on academics, busy lifestyles and convenience of processed foods – as great as those things are – it has changed the way our kids are developing. More and more children are experiencing developmental delays including behavioral challenges.

Understanding Brain Development and Its Impact on Behavior

Think of your child’s brain like a car with a gas pedal and brake pedal. By understanding how the brain develops, we can help create a more balanced environment to promote calm and cooperation:

Right Brain (The “Brake Pedal”):

• Acts like the brake pedal in a car – helps slow down and control responses
• Develops for first 18-24 months of life for a good foundation.
• Is responsible for:
  • “Big-picture” thinking
  • Motor development
  • Self-regulation
  • Manages empathy and social interactions
• Helps children (and adults):
  • Stop and think before acting
  • Calm down when upset
  • Control impulses
  • Process social cues
  • Understand the “big picture”

Left Brain (The “Gas Pedal”):

• Acts like the gas pedal – provides drive to learn and explore to find patterns in the world for learning
• Shifts to develop after 18-24 months.
• Is responsible for: 
  
  • Focusing on details
  • Maintains routines 
  • Processes positive emotions
  • Controls fine motor skills
  • Handles logical thinking

• Helps children (and adults):
  • Get motivated and excited
  • Focus on details-patterns
  • Follow routines
  • Process language
  • Think logically

Why This Balance Matters:

• Just like a car needs both pedals to drive smoothly, a child needs both sides of their brain working together
• Is essential for healthy motor, sensory, social, emotional, and cognitive development
• Gives foundation for higher level brain development to include learning executive functioning skills, making self-control possible. 

Understanding Imbalances

When the brain’s natural development pattern is disrupted, one hemisphere of the brain tends to be weaker, while the other becomes more dominant-leading to sensory, motor, behavioral and or cognitive challenges.

•  Brain Imbalance:
  • Known as Functional Disconnect Syndrome
  • Presents as gaps in development, such as a 2-year-old who lines up letters correctly, yet doesn’t communicate needs and has poor eye contact

• Too much “gas” (left brain) without enough “brake” (right brain) can lead to:
  • Difficulty controlling impulses
  • Poor safety awareness
  • Difficulty transitioning between activities
  • Always on the go, can’t sit still
  • Trouble calming down
  • Increased fearfulness
  • Challenges with social interactions including lack of empathy for others
  • Symptoms are usually seen in children diagnosed with ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), and Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

• Too much “brake” (right brain)without enough “gas” (left brain)  might result in:
  • Hesitancy to try new things
  • Difficulty getting started on tasks
  • Overcautiousness and shyness
  • Learning challenges
  • Symptoms are usually seen in children diagnosed with Learning Disabilities (LD) 

What Causes an Imbalance?

Certain social and environmental factors are believed to be linked to brain imbalances, including:

• Limited movement especially in early development – less emphasis on tummy time, crawling and outside play
• High stress or traumatic events in pregnancy and early development
• Poor nutrition including over-processed foods
• Chemicals and plastics in foods, cleaning and skincare products
• Early screen time or excessive high-speed visual overstimulation
• Early emphasis on fine motor skills and academic skills instead of concepts of how to interact and move within their world

How Can You Help?

Fortunately, there are things you can do to support brain development in a more balanced way!

Finding Balance: Focus on Improving Attention and Learning Self-Control

Today’s push for early academics – teaching 2–3-year-olds to write and expecting kindergarteners to read – may work against natural brain development. While learning is important, emphasizing fine motor and academic skills too much too early can:

• Create developmental gaps
• Shift brain development out of natural sequence
• Reduce time spent on the development of crucial executive function skills
• Develop hand weakness, poor fine motor skills including immature grasping patterns, weakness in hands and poor handwriting

Instead, focus on age-appropriate development for infants and toddlers:

• Prioritize whole-body movement
• Encourage exploration and play
• Build self-regulation skills through activities focus on attention and self-control
• Allow natural learning through interaction

Remember: Your child will learn their ABC’s and 123’s when their brain is ready. Preschoolers who develop strong self-regulation skills through movement and play are better behaved and prepared for future academic success. Trust the natural learning process – there’s no need to rush.

Activities to Support Right-Brain Development

These activities can help strengthen your child’s right brain, creating a calming effect while encouraging development of executive functioning skills which will set them up for academic success later:

Focus on Activities in which:

• Encourage “big-Picture” Concepts- how your child relates to others and their world
• Encourage imitation, eye contact, and body awareness
• Focus on big movement skills – get them moving in varied ways every day!
• Foster balance – find activities to challenge their balance, walking on different surfaces and obstacles
• Promote imitation – Encourage your child to imitate silly noises and facial expressions. Look at pictures of people expressing different emotions
• Develop working memory – remembering where hidden objects are, remembering 2 step commands and simple rules.
• Improve body awareness – Identifying body parts, vestibular movements such as spinning, upside-down play and swinging
• Encourage inhibition (self-control) skills – waiting in line, “freeze” activities, practice self-control and sharing
• Develop social skills – playing with others, pretend play, games that teach following directions and taking turns
• Improve visual tracking skills- have your child look in all directions, particularly leftward and upward, to stimulate right-brain activity-helps develop spatial awareness and attention.
• Encourage activities that require using both hands- such as clapping, catching a ball or holding a bowl and stirring with the other. Let your child choose which hand they want to use to feed themselves and color with- let hand dominance develop naturally.

Direct Right Brain Stimulation Activities: 

Activate your child’s “Brake Pedal” side of their brain to create a calming effect while encouraging self-regulation. You can try these activities 2-3 times a day- works well when frustration is starting to brew or before a stressful activity.

• Focus on your child’s left side of their body-The brain controls the opposite side of the body (except for smell and both sides control eye movement). Input to the left side can activate the right brain to calm the nervous system.
  
  • Provide massage to the left side of their body or provide downward medium pressure stroking their left palm and left sole of foot repeating once reach toes or fingers for 1-2 minutes
  • Provide medium to firm pressure stroking left side of face from ear to side of lips for 1-2 minutes as tolerated.
  • Encourage your child to play with a fidget or play in sensory bin with their left hand 

• Choose Calming Colors- Incorporating cool tones like blues and purples which stimulate right brain (“brake pedal”) or greens which are neutral. These colors are known to have a calming effect and can help your child feel more at ease. If your child gets easily frustrated avoid reds, yellow and orange as much as possible as these colors which can lead to overstimulation.
• Limit Overstimulating Colors-Bright colors, particularly yellow, orange, and red, trigger the left “gas pedal” side of the brain and they can be overstimulating for some children. If your child is easily overwhelmed, try to limit exposure to these as much as possible.
• Use Calming Scents- Certain scents like coffee, lemon, peppermint, and eucalyptus can help calm and focus your child. You can place a small amount on your child’s right collar or keep these scents subtly present to promote a calming and increase mental awareness.
• Avoid Overstimulating Scents- Sweet smells may trigger left brain “gas pedal” activity and can lead to overstimulation for some children. If your child is prone to overstimulation, it’s best to minimize these fragrances.
• Use Calming Tone of voice- A low deep tone of voice can create a calming effect. While a higher pitch tone of voice can be overstimulating.

Tips to Support a More Balance Neurological System 

• Limit processed foods-fresh is best and use limited ingredient pre-packaged foods
• Use safer materials (glass, stainless steel, bamboo) and limit plastics when possible
• Choose natural skincare and cleaning products-avoiding harsh chemicals
• Provide a structured routine-yet encourage cognitive flexibility. We take our shoes off at home yet leave them on at preschool.

When to Seek Support

• Consult an Occupational Therapist or a Brain Balance specialist and avoid trying Right Brain Stimulation Activities if your child:
  • Has high muscle tone (like in CP)
  • Shows signs of learning disabilities
• If your child has a diagnosis of ASD or ADHD – the right brain activities may be very beneficial for you child- yet it is still important to get individual support.

Remember

• Every child develops differently
• No need for parent guilt about past choices
• Small changes can make big differences
• Focus on progress, not perfection

Closing Thoughts

Incorporating these right-brain activities in your child’s routine can make a significant difference in their ability to self-regulate, focus, and manage emotions. Brain balance approaches aim to foster mature brain development, allowing children to achieve higher-level executive functioning skills.

For more detailed information and resources, explore:

• “Disconnected Kids” by Dr. Robert Melillo
• The Brain Balance Centers
• Building the Brain’s Air Traffic Control System: How Early Experiences Shape the Development of Executive Function: Working Paper No. 11
• My blog- Building Your Child’s Self-Regulation Skills Through Play: A Parent’s Guide

Note: Always consult with healthcare professionals for personalized guidance for your child’s specific needs.