Understanding Developmental Red Flags: A Parent’s Guide

As loving parents, we want our children to develop well. It’s normal to feel worried when something seems different about your child’s growth. The good news is that spotting developmental red flags in toddlers early can help them get the support they need. Interventions are most effective when your child’s brain is still developing.

Every child grows at their own pace. Still, some signs may show that your little one could benefit from professional help. When it comes to your child’s development, trust your gut feelings.

Please note: This information serves as general guidelines. Also, remember that children develop at different rates. Use these signs to start conversations with your pediatrician rather than make diagnoses. If your child is showing delays in more than one or two skills, it doesn’t hurt to bring up these concerns before the age guide lines below.

Physical Development Red Flags to Monitor

Movement and Motor Skills Concerns

First, let’s look at physical red flags that need attention. Watch for these movement issues:

Major Motor Milestone Delays:

• Rolling over (by 6 months)
• Sitting without support (by 9 months)
• Crawling or scooting (by 12 months)
• Walking alone (by 18 months)

Coordination and Balance Concerns:

• Unusual clumsiness beyond normal toddler falls
• Balance problems during simple activities
• Walking only on toes after age 2
• Frequent falls on flat, clear surfaces
• Trouble climbing stairs with help
• Dropping objects over and over without clear cause

Fine Motor Development Red Flags:

• Trouble using a fork or spoon by age 2
• Problems holding crayons or markers the right way
• Using whole hand to grab small food pieces after 18 months
• Can’t stack blocks or do simple puzzles

Pro Tip: If your child is showing slight concerns or your pediatrician says to just monitor your child’s development, check out my blogs “The Power of Outdoor Play: Nature Time Essential Activities” and  “Moving to Grow: Movement and Play Activities for Development” to find activities to support your child’s development today!

Repetitive Movement Patterns

Also, watch for these specific movement patterns:

• Arm flapping or hand movements over and over
• Too much focus on spinning objects
• Always looking at items sideways or lining up objects
• Unusual body rocking or spinning behaviors

Behavioral and Emotional Red Flags

Self-Regulation Challenges

Next, think about these behavioral red flags that may show self-regulation problems:

Impulse Control Issues:

• Can’t wait even for a short time
• Very impulsive behaviors that seem dangerous
• Poor safety awareness such as running into street or touching hot things despite frequent warnings
• Constant movement that gets in the way of daily activities

Emotional Regulation Concerns:

• Long tantrums lasting 20-30+ minutes regularly
• Frequent, intense reactions to small changes
• Extreme trouble with any transitions
• Can’t self-soothe even with consistent support
• Strong resistance to changes in their routine

Signs of Focus and Attention Red Flags:

• Has extreme trouble following simple, one-step routines
• Problems focusing on any activity, even preferred ones
• Shows difficulty with basic transitions throughout the day

Want a resource with fun interactive tools to help manage your child’s challenging behaviors and teach them self-regulation skills? Try downloading our App. Check out this page to learn more: The Tantrum Tamer App.

Social and Communication Red Flags

Social Interaction Concerns

The following social red flags may show communication or social challenges:

Eye Contact and Social Engagement:

• Always avoiding eye contact with familiar people
• Limited social interaction even with family
• Little to no interest in any type of play
• Not responding to their name consistently
• Prefers objects to social interactions

Play and Imitation Red Flags:

• Complete avoidance of group play or social activities
• No interest in imitating (copying) others’ actions or words
• No pretend play by age 2
• Strong preference for playing alone in all situations
• Not sharing enjoyment or excitement with others

Communication Development Concerns

Furthermore, watch for these speech and language red flags:

• No words by 16 months
• No two-word phrases by age 2
• Loss of words they had said before
• Not following simple directions consistently

Want to learn more about possible speech concerns? Check out Ali’s blogs on communication.

Sensory Processing Red Flags

Sensory Sensitivity Signs

These sensory red flags may also indicate delays and can affect your child’s daily life:

Sensory Avoidance Behaviors:

• Getting easily overwhelmed in normal environments
• Often covering ears during routine activities
• Extreme reactions to clothing tags or sock seams
• Big distress with food textures
• Fear of light touch or gentle handling

Sensory Seeking Behaviors:

• Always seeking intense sensory input
• Too much spinning, jumping, or crashing activities
• Need for very loud sounds or bright lights
• Trouble with wanting to touch everything and in constant movement

Movement and Balance Concerns:

• Extreme fear of swings or playground equipment
• Unusual fear of movement activities
• Seeking too much spinning or motion

For more information on sensory processing challenges, check out my blog “Sensory Processing Dysfunction: Signs & Support for Children”

Taking Action: Next Steps for Concerned Parents

Documenting Your Observations

Before talking with your pediatrician, keep track of important details. It is helpful to write down:

• When you notice concerning behaviors
• How often these patterns happen each day
• What situations seem to trigger problems
• How long episodes or behaviors typically last
• What strategies help your child feel better
• What approaches don’t seem to work

Preparing for Your Pediatric Visit

Also, organize your concerns before the appointment. Therefore, prepare:

• A written list of specific things you’ve noticed
• Questions about your child’s development
• Examples of behaviors that worry you
• Any family history of developmental concerns

Professional Support Options

What Your Pediatrician Might Recommend

Based on your concerns, your healthcare provider may suggest:

Assessment Options:

• An complete developmental screening
• An evaluation for Occupational therapy, Speech therapy and or Physical Therapy
• Behavioral support services such as ABA (Applied Behaviorial Analysis)

Early Intervention Services:

• State-funded early intervention programs
• Pediatric therapy services
• Play Therapy

Here is an Additional Resource for Parents

For complete developmental milestone information, visit the CDC’s “Learn the Signs. Act Early” program. This research-based resource provides detailed milestone checklists by age. As well as, free milestone tracker tools and clear guidance on when to seek professional support.

Remember: You’re Your Child’s Best Advocate

When it comes to your child, trust your gut feelings. If something doesn’t feel right about your child’s development, talk with your pediatrician. It’s always worth it.

Early intervention often leads to much better outcomes for children. Don’t feel bad for advocating for your child. Seeking help shows you have great love for your child.

Rather than waiting and hoping concerns go away, take action. This shows your commitment to what’s best for your child.

Every child develops differently. The important thing is to stay positive. Also, discuss any developmental red flags you have early.

Your pediatrician can help determine if your child is developing within normal range. They can also tell you if your concerns are appropriate. Even if your child is showing some delays, early intervention services can make a big impact. These services can help improve your child’s developmental skills and work best when started as soon as possible. Therefore, don’t wait to discuss any developmental concerns with your healthcare provider right away.

Don’t forget, we developed Skidamarink Kids to help you be able to help your child thrive. We want you to have the resources you need. This includes knowing when to get help for your child. We also provide a place to find simple activities to help them learn important developmental skills. Check out our blogs on the areas you have concerns about for practical parenting tips for improving your child’s development.

So take a deep breath. Remember we are here to walk this amazing parenting journey with you!