Play-Based Self-Regulation Activities: Age-by-Age Play Guide

Ever noticed how some days your child handles life’s ups and downs better than others? That’s self-regulation at work! Executive functioning skills help with mental control and self-regulation, influencing how children plan, focus, control behavior, and express emotions. Here’s your guide to developing these critical life skills through simple, everyday activities with play-based self-regulation activities for each developmental stage.

Self-Regulation Activities for Babies (6-18 Months)

During these early months, your baby is learning the basics of self-control through play and interaction:

    • Peek-a-Boo and Hide-and-Seek: These simple games do more than create giggles – they improve focus, working memory, and self-control
    • Songs with Surprises: Try songs with unexpected endings (like “This is the Way the Ladies Ride”) to engage attention and working memory
    • Interactive Movement Play:
      • Play “Row, Row Your Boat” with gentle rocking, letting them fall backwards onto your lap or a pillow to also develop balance
      • Encourage eye contact and tracking by moving around while making engaging sounds
      • Practice games like Pat-a-Cake to develop motor skills and imitation
    • First Songs with Gestures: “Wheels on the Bus” and “Itsy Bitsy Spider” strengthen attention, imitation, coordination, and language
    • Simple Turn-Taking: Start with basic activities like putting a ball in a bucket or pressing a button

Self-Regulation Activities for Toddlers (18-36 Months)

As your toddler grows, they're ready for more complex activities:

 

    • Quality Connection Time:
      • Spend focused time together walking, singing, or reading without distractions
      • Continue to encourage eye contact and tracking objects by moving around while making engaging sounds
    • Movement Games:
      • Play Freeze Dance and “The Floor is Lava” to improve focus and self-control
      • Dance to “Hokey Pokey” and “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” for motor skills and body awareness
    • Emotional Learning:
      • Help label feelings to promote emotional understanding
      • Looking at photos of people with different facial expressions to build mirror neurons needed for learning empathy
      • Imitate animal noises and actions in an elaborate way to increase imitation skills
      • Guide them through expressing emotions appropriately
    • Pretend Play: Let your child take the lead in imaginative play – it’s fantastic for creativity and self-regulation
    • Simple Sorting: Turn organizing toys or snacks by color, size, or shape into a fun game
Mother and toddler son playing with dinosaurs toys at home on the couch

Self-Regulation Activities for Preschoolers (3-5 years)

Playing, box ship and pirate kids role play, fantasy imagine or pretend as yacht captain in cardboa

Preschoolers are ready for activities that build independence:

  • Structured Independence: Gradually reduce guidance to help them develop self-management skills
  • Creative Play:
    • Provide props for imaginative play scenarios
    • Create and tell stories together to develop focus and sequencing skills
  • Musical Learning:
      • Use repetitive songs that build complexity like “Five Green and Speckled Frogs”
      • Practice songs with lists like “The Alphabet Song” for memory skills and attention
  • Movement Control:
        • Dance to fast and slow music to practice adjusting movements for self-control
        • Navigate simple obstacle courses for focus and direction-following

Self-Regulation Activities for School-Age Children (5-7 years)

School-age children benefit from more complex challenges:

 

  • Game-Based Learning: Choose engaging games that offer a “just right” challenge level
  • Social Skills Development:
    • Learn conflict resolution through techniques like flipping coins or drawing straws
    • Practice attention, following directions and self-control through games like:
      • Freeze dance
      • Musical chairs
      • Red Light, Green Light
      • Duck, Duck, Goose
      • Mother May I?
  • Active Play:
    • Try fast-paced ball games like four square and dodgeball
    • Play classic games like Simon Says
    • Participate in organized sports for teamwork and focus
    • Challenge quick thinking with games like Slapjack or Perfection

Pro Tip

Age ranges are just guidelines. It’s perfectly okay to use activities from younger age groups – focus on your child’s current skill level to build a good foundation.

Closing Thoughts

As Albert Einstein said, “Play is the highest form of research.” Through these playful activities, you’re helping your child develop essential life skills that will serve them well into the future. 

Implementing age-appropriate play-based self-regulation activities consistently is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child’s developing brain.

Want to Learn More?

– Kendra

Picture of Kendra Worley

Kendra Worley

I am a pediatric Occupational Therapist with over 20 years of experience and the founder of Skidamarink Kids. As both a professional and mother of children with special needs, I created the Tantrum Tamer App to empower families with practical tools for emotional regulation and development. I am passionate about helping children flourish through nurturing environments and evidence-based strategies. See Full Bio

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